We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
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