Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
