Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Jerry, you need to find god
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
