broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
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