I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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