OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
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