I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
