I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
