and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Randomize
