trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
