It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
