is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
