Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Its about making memories worth repressing
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
