i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
Randomize
