theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
