that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
