You're so nebulous sometimes
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize
