I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
