I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
