maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
