ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
