i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
We're not piercing ourselves today.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
