i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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