I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
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