I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
