How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
you win again, gameday.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
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