I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
