jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
