he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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