I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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