Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize
