My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Sext me about skeletons
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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