The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
