she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
My feet surprised me
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