I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
