He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
