you would pick up someone in the library
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
