Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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