SEEEEXXX PLEASE
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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