Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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