I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
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