does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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