When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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