if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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