I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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