who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
