Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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