i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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