dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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