He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
