I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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