the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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