The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
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