found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Randomize
