i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
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Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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