Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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