i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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