She is in my trunk
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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