I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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