DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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