woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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