he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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