Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
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