Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
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