My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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