Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They are going to name an STD after you.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
