I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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