So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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