Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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